2 Divorces by 30

I am not going to sit here and bad mouth my ex husbands but what I will do is give my experiences on how it feels to have 2 divorces behind me by 30.

I am 32 now and remarried to the most amazing man I have ever met. He is wonderful to me and my daughter, shows the most compassion I have ever seen in a human being. But no matter how much I wanted to marry him, I was scared. There were so many what if’s.

What if it ends like my other marriages?

What if he ends up hating me and leaves me?

What if he falls out of love with me after a year like the others?

Truth is my ex husbands never fell out of love with me. I left. I left because I was not happy and life is too short to be unhappy for years. Yes, I tried to fix it…in many ways. But nothing worked and I had to pack my bags for my daughter and for me. I couldn’t have her growing up in a household that didn’t show love for what it could be or what it really is.

There has been many others that have shamed me for having two divorces under my belt at 30, which is judgmental because they didn’t know my past or what I went through. I never had a good male influence in my life growing up, which means I never had a man show me what real love could be.

When one does not have this influence, they base their idea of a partner and love on what they have learned in their past. Thinking this is the best it could be. But as a lover of love, I strived for something different. Believing there was something different out there. And I was right. There are partners out there that will treat you with more love than you can ever imagine.

The only good reaction I have ever gotten was from a past coworker. When I told him I had been divorced twice he said, ” Good for you! You do not stay if you are not treated right. I respect that.” And this was coming from a man, when men usually judge me for leaving other men. Man code they said. Judging me for leaving their brothers.

I am bisexual and have been in relationships with women and I had no different of an experience. So this is not a shit on men post, this is a post about a woman who was confused on what she needed and deserved.

I hope this post puts others at ease that have gone through exactly or near what I have been through. I have been wanting to write this for a while but wasn’t sure what to say. This post wasn’t planned and I am just writing what is in my mind and heart so I hope that it does not come off as a jumbled mess.

Thank you for reading,

Tea and Self Care

0B6ADB9A-9A35-4852-8320-1CF7EDAD1FFF

Tea has become apart of my self care because I need a routine and it helps my body feel grounded and focused. I just recently started drinking tea because that’s all work had that was warm that wasn’t caffeinated. Due to my debilitating anxiety, I cannot drink caffeine and have been caffeine free for 2 years now. But caffeine in tea may help you focus and calm you down. Everybody’s brains are wired different.

I prefer lemon tea and I like it strong. I use two tea bags with stevia to sweeten it. At work their tea is super lemony and super strong. And I got used to it. I noticed how it would calm my anxiety at work. I work in a call center and have to talk to people all day which is a nightmare, but its a job. I do my best and apparently my best is one of the best in the office.

Ok, back to tea. Lets travel into the world of the best teas for self care:

1. Echinacea

Commonly known as purple coneflowers, Echinacea flowers sooth sore throats and alleviate cold symptoms when brewed in a tea. Also helpful for laryngitis or simply the day after a concert where you screamed the lyrics a bit too loud, Echinacea tea will coax your voice back to life and help it return to normal.

Echinacea tea has been invaluable to me in the past — I often drink it after ski races in subzero temperatures, when I lose my voice from the cold air abrading my throat. While Echinacea on its own certainly does not make the most delicious tea, combining it with mint or lemon — as one tea company does in its Echinacea Plus tea — creates a tangy flavor, both pleasant and healthy to drink, making it one of the best teas for self-care.

2. Chamomile

A mindful Geek Update

6337A2FE-9337-465D-8A45-939818244D2A

 

 

Hi all Mindful Geeklings!!

Life has been pretty crazy for me for the last few years. A Mindful Geek fell to the way side simply because I couldn’t juggle it all. Juggling school, full time job, mom, girlfriend, pet momma…it was just all too much. But life has slowed down enough for me to continue writing for you all. So we will start with a journal entry.

 

I left my job that I announced that I got after 9 months. It was just all too much for me. I was working 10 hours a day not including travel and meeting. I was a manager of my own store and the district trainer, which was great. But I missed my family too much. I missed life too much. So I got an 8 to 5 job which has been amazing despite the ups and downs. Currently I am in a down because I am on medical leave and disability due to 2 bulging discs in my back. I will be back at the end of the month.

 

My boyfriend has now changed to a husband. We were married on July 20th, 2019 in St. Augustine, FL. It was a beautiful wedding on the beach and we had an amazing reception. Planning was a pain because I do live in NJ, but it was all worth it. It came together nicely. And anything that didn’t, just didn’t matter. I was marrying the love of my life. The day after we took my daughter and best friend to Disney World, staying in the Animal Kingdom resort. We had some Disney Magic that is for sure. Day after that…we went on the most amazing 5 day cruise. We had the time of our lives those two weeks in FL.

 

My daughter is doing well. She is now 11 going on 17. Haha. She has become an amazing artist and surprises me every day. Raising a pre-teen is hard, I can tell you that. They do not listen and its hard to not lose your shit sometimes. And sometimes you do. We try our best to be mindful of her age and what she is going through though. She is becoming a beautiful, talented and smart young woman. I cannot wait to watch her grow but on the other hand, they grow too fast.

 

As far as the blog, I plan to continue with it because I need it. I need it for self-care and I want to share my life with all of you. So please be patient with me as I build it back up. All past posts are available though.

 

Thank you for reading,

brittanysig

My Favorite Online Yoga Teacher

This is a post dedicated to one of the best yoga teachers I have found on Youtube. Her name is Adriene and if you are a yogi, you probably already know of her.

This woman is not only beautiful, but smart. She provides you with some of the most educational and chill videos out there.

Her yoga channel is called Yoga With Adriene

She has hundred of videos that are categorized into specific playlists. These playlists include weight loss, yoga for healing, 10-15 yoga practices, yoga for beginners and more.

Theres no secret that she is the most popular yoga teacher on Youtube, she has over 2 MILLION subscribers! Thats a lot of love!

The reason that I love her so much is because it feels like you are doing yoga with your best friend. She is funny, relaxing and helps you really understand what yoga is about.

I am quiet frankly obsessed with her. And I would recommend her to anyone, beginner or advanced. She has built something so grand and should be very proud of her accomplishments.

She even has a website that includes a blog, a store and paid online yoga classes.

I have been doing yoga for only a few months now and I have learned so much from her that I can do my own yoga sequences without questioning what I will do next. She teaches you in what order you should be doing specific poses such as stretching poses vs. the hardcore poses.

Yoga with Adriene will change you life. It will motivate you. She will make you smile. And it is by far the easiest introduction to yoga out there.

Below are links to some of my favorite playlists:

Yoga for Beginners 

30 Days of Yoga

So dive in! Take 20-40 minutes out of your time today, lay out your mat, and get to know Adriene.

Thanks for reading,

Image Map

A Mindful Geek Update

Where did Brittany go?

After 6 months of unemployment, hours of job searching and days of depression…I finally got a job. This came so abruptly that I started the very next day. I had no time to process any of it. I am 3 weeks in now and finally able to breathe. On top of being a mom, girlfriend, employee, blogger…I am also a full time student in college.

Keeping up with everything really had to take some time and A Mindful Geek had to go on the back burner until I caught up.

I feel as now I am caught up and ready to come back, but with a different set of rules.

I will only be doing a blog a week. Every Saturday I will sit down and write a blog, having it posted for you all on Sunday morning. So Sunday morning is your A Mindful Geek time! Write it down, bookmark it, schedule it.

Read more

A Review of Beauty and the Beast

The original Beauty and the Beast was an animated film that came out in 1991. I was only 4 years old, but I remember watching it non-stop once my parents bought it for me on VHS. The songs were amazing and the story always made me cry. (I was a super sensitive child)

When I found out that there was going to be a live action remake, I was worried. How can they make it as good as the original? Were they going to completely mess up one of my favorite Disney films of all time? Unlike many that scream “NOOOOO” when a remake is announced, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt.

Read more

[Interview] Pregnancy and Mental Illness

 

I will be doing interviews with people that suffer mental illnesses. Each interview will have a subject to focus on. My hope is that we will help others understand that they are not alone and there are all types of people that suffer.

Todays interview will feature a soon to be mother. She will tell us about the struggles she has faced due to her mental illnesses and how she defeated them. Pregnancy does not always mean perfect beautiful glow and astounding preciousness. Sometimes it is hard, especially for those that have a battle within.

Read more

My Cloud Nine: #1

I have seen so many of my fellow bloggers posting updates about the positive things that have been happening in their lives. I find this beautiful.

Life is so crazy and it is very hard to stop to think about the positives. Many times we can’t see any, even though they are there.

I decided to start doing my own version of the positive things that fill up my life. I will always list 9 things that are making me happy. It will not always be easy but it is good for me. For my growth and recovery.

Read more

Depression Physically Hurts: What Should You Do?

I have been experiencing the physical pain of depression and anxiety since I was 3 years old. Anything stressful would make me throw up and I was rushed to the ER many times to be told that nothing was wrong with me.

I remember being in the 1st grade and getting so excited to wear my Snow White costume to school that I literally vomited and had to stay home. Ruining this special time that I was so excited about.

I was tested for everything under the sun and we never got any answers. In fact, the doctors thought my mother was faking it. She was not.

This continued all the way through middle school. It was there that I experienced my first trauma. After this event, which I won’t be going into right now, happened, all my genetic-based disorders where amped up and I finally got the mental help I needed.

I remember when I was younger, I was so convinced that there was no way every single person felt this kinda of pain every day.

Read more